Life is a lot more fun when you’re getting the things you want. Wouldn’t you agree?
However, there’s an art and a science to getting more of the things you want on a regular basis, that many people who email me, just haven’t quite figured out. These are the people who talk about how nothing ever seems to go their way, they’re worse off than they were 10 years ago, and their lives just haven’t taken the path that they wanted it to.
If you’re one of those people, then this post is for you.
Over the last few years I consider myself remarkably lucky to have more or less achieved the exact lifestyle I’ve always wanted for myself.
I should probably rephrase that though. While yes, there’s a bit of luck involved, I’ve deliberately put myself in a position to be lucky and get the things I want. It doesn’t matter if you’re working a 9 to 5 in a cubicle or if you’re living the Location Rebel lifestyle – you can experience this as well with a few key changes in your actions and mindset.
Let’s jump in and take a look at what those are.
1) Know what you want
This one seems so remarkably simple, yet it’s amazing how many people simply don’t know what they want.
When you join our email list, one of the first things I ask you is to “describe your perfect day”. I get way more responses than you’d think that simply say “Wow, good question. I’ve never thought about that before.”
What do you mean you’ve never thought about it before? What are you spending your days working towards? Simply getting that next paycheck? If you don’t have goals or at the very least a list of things you want to do in life, then you’re never going to get where you want to go – because you don’t know where that is.
Set aside some time today to figure out at least a couple things you want out of life, as well as the type of lifestyle you want to live.
Here are some questions to get you started:
- What are a couple things you want to be able to do everyday for the rest of your life?
- What are three really big long term goals (Buy a house? Travel to some really expensive exotic location? Own your own business?)
- Are their routines you had when you were younger that you’d like to reestablish? What are they?
2) Look for the Win/Win
Something I’ve done a lot of over the last few years has been looking for the win/win. Say there’s something I want to do. Ok, how can I do that, yet help a bunch of other people in the process?
Do I want to stay in a cool hotel? Ok, first off how can I benefit my readers by staying there? What are the things that entertain and inform them? If I asked the hotel for a comped stay or reduced rate, how could they benefit? What is their goal in this whole proposition?
By putting the needs of others first, and structuring opportunities that way you’ll not only make more friends, but you’ll be building and establishing your brand and reputation in the process.
Questions to ask before proposing a win/win scenario:
- Does the other party benefit at least as much, if not more than you?
- What the real purpose behind the proposal?
- How can you do something different than what other people have done in the past?
- What have people done in the past that’s worked particularly well?
3) Become an Authority
Let’s face it, the better your reputation, the more people are willing to help you.
I’m a firm believer that everyone is an expert at something. You also have to keep in mind that you don’t need “total expertise”, rather more often than not, you simply need to be a relative expert. Essentially you just need to know more than the people you’re working with or educating.
By establishing yourself as an authority in one niche, you can leverage that authority across industries as you expand your business and lifestyle goals.
For instance, I’ve built myself up to be an authority on lifestyle businesses. Now that I have that, it’s easier for me to start my photography or golf sites, because I’ve already got an audience of people who trust me.
When it comes to getting what you want, people are more receptive to your emails, social media pleas, or other forms of reaching out if they trust you and know you to be knowledgable.
Some things to think about in regards to building authority:
- What types of things do you spend your free time thinking a lot about (Think in specifics – hobbies? Sports? Specific locations?
- What do your friends always ask you for advice on?
- If I held a gun to your head and said tell me three things you better than most people at, what would you say?
- Do you have a blog or website yet? If no, start.
4) Put Yourself in a Position for Opportunity
I talk to a lot of readers about this concept. It’s often not until people know you’re in a position to accept an opportunity that they will offer it to you.
For instance, the only reason Dan asked me to join him and the Tropical MBA team back in 2009 was because I wrote the post about my last day at work.
Had I not been in a position to accept, the opportunity never would have showed up.
The point of this? Sometimes in order to get what you want, you have to take a risk that puts you in the position to be open to opportunity to find you.
Not sure if you’re “in a position for opportunity”?
- Are you publicly visible? Meaning do you have active social media profiles, blog, etc?.
- If you were the person hiring for your dream job or internship, would you approach you, based on your position?
- Are you actively reaching out to people who have lives you’re aspiring towards?
Also, extremely simple. These days access is no longer an issue. There’s someone out there who can probably make any one of your dreams, goals, or aspirations come true. You can also probably get their contact information in less than 2 minutes of Google searching.
Most people never simply ask. Either because they’re too shy, too afraid of getting rejected, or simply don’t believe anyone will say yes.
Next time you’re afraid of rejection, watch this:
I’ve found the vast majority of time I ask for something, especially if I know what I want, think about the win/win, and leverage authority – the answer is usually yes.
You can do everything else perfectly, but often getting what you want in life, simply comes down to asking for it.
My buddy Tyler wrote a great post about how life changing a simple email can be.
Try it today. Go ask for something you want, you may be surprised by what happens. Or you may not, but at least you’ll know you tried.
6) Announce Publicly
In 2009 I wanted to start crossing things off my bucket list, and make some major lifestyle changes. So what’d I do, I started a blog and told the world about it. This does two very important things:
- It holds you accountable
- It’s an offer for help.
If you say something once, or worse, simply think about doing it without telling anyone, what are the odds it’s going to happen? Probably not very high. By putting pretty major goals and changes out to the world, in many ways the thought of not doing it, was scarier than the idea of actually following through.
The more people you tell, the easier it gets.
For instance, I’ve had a lot of people ask me about what my next trip is. I’ve been telling everyone I see about a big adventure I have planned for October. The more people I tell, the more it becomes an inevitability that I’ll follow through with it. Expect an entire separate post devoted to this adventure soon.
And secondly, it’s an offer for help.
A reader, and now good friend, Gene Jennings sent me an email a couple years back saying. ”I can’t get you on the course, but how’d you like to come be my guest at the Masters this year?”
By putting it out there publicly, anyone who is in a position to help often does so.
This falls back to the conversation about luck. Many people believe the people who get everything they want in life are simply lucky. In some cases, they probably are. But some people have learned how to create their own luck, and you can as well.
We all sell. Every single day we are selling our ideas, our products, and more. Whether it’s trying to sell someone on buying your latest ebook, or simply selling them on what movie to watch with you, persuasion is part of life.
The better you are at it, the easier it is to get what you want.
So how do you start honing your persuasion muscle?
Here are three books I’d recommend checking out:
- Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion – One of the most useful books I’ve ever read. Once you understand the different ways people are trying to persuade you, it becomes much easier to recognize and apply the techniques in your own life.
- Breakthrough Advertising – Pretty much all of my best marketing friends have told me to read this book. Written by one of the greatest marketers in history, Eugene Schwartz, it’s become my go to book for copywriting. It’s a beast, not an easy read, and incredibly expensive if you can find a copy of it, but well worth it. This link is to a difficult to read (but free) PDF and is a great starting point.
- Ca$hvertising – Another copywriting book, but once you’re a good copywriter, you’ll be amazed at how that translates to other aspects of your life.
Are You Ready to Get More of What You Want?
Like I said in the beginning, there’s an art and a science to getting what you want out of life. However, the more you truly think about what it is you want, and actively work towards getting there, the more fulfilled and happy you’re life will become in the process.
How are you actively working towards getting what you want in life? Let us know in the comments!